Everyday Editing
Colons: Notice and Imitate
Serial commas let you make lists within sentences! They provide you with the "Power-of-Three" or more to add lists of specific details to your writing.
One of the uses of colons is also to allow you to add details because they can introduce lists. When adding specific details to your writing, you could try using a colon. (Pay attention, though, so you can use it correctly!) Colons emphasize that something important will follow. They can also introduce a complete sentence.
Here is a sentence that uses a colon to introduce a list:
The deputy told me to empty my pockets: two quarters, a penny, a stick of bubble gum, and roll of grip tape for my skateboard. -- Carl Hiaasen, Flush (2006)
And more examples:
"Empty your pockets!"
Reluctantly, one by one, Hugo pulled out dozens of objects: screws and nails and bits of metal, gears and crumpled palying cards, tiny pieces of clockworks, cogs and wheels.
-- Brian Selznick, The Invention of Hugo Cabret (2007)
But the car is quiet for now, as are the noontime streets: gas stations, boundless concrete, brick buildings with plywood windows -- Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, Freakonomics (2005)
Before I do anything else, I need to go back over everything that has happened this summer: the Big Mistake, the old man, the book, the lamp, the telescope, and this box, which started it all.
-- Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life (2006)
I pulled the latch on the mailbox and fanned through the stack of letters: an electricity bill, a New York Times renewal notice, a bank statement, and a Bon Appetit magazine. -- Tracy Mack, Drawing Lessons (2002)
We are going to imitate the first sentence we looked at:
The deputy told me to empty my pockets: two quarters, a penny, a stick of bubble gum, and roll of grip tape for my skateboard. -- Carl Hiaasen, Flush (2006)
Here is one imitation:
The TSA employee emptied my backpack: three books, a journal, and 17 pens. -- Jeff Anderson
Now, in your composition book, under writing, copy one of the two sentences above, then imitate the sentence, using this pattern:
_____________ told me to empty my __________: ______________, _____________, and ______________.
Your imitation should be about a different topic.
By the way TSA is Transportation Security Administration. He's at the airport. What do the contents of his backpack reveal about him?
