Friday, May 10, 2013

A Little Humor -- Extra Credit

Extra credit for bringing classroom appropriate jokes.  Write them out and hand them in to Ms. Dorsey.  We'll share jokes on testing days.

I was drinking a milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself...
Wow, this is ledge ‘n dairy!

Just for fun: My daughter's friend posted this yesterday on Facebook.

"Just now, I looked over my shoulder and jumped when I saw a giant bug sitting there. It was about the size of an earbud on a pair of headphones! A half-second before yelling, jumping out of my seat, and flicking it off of my shoulder, I realized it was the earbud from my headphones."

   At a motivational seminar 3 men are asked to come up to the stage.
   They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
     The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our leaders of tomorrow."
     The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say...... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!"


Question: What happens when a cow doesn't shave?

Answer:  It grows a moos-stache
Thanks to Ben J. 

There's a guy in a house with no openings -- just a table and a saw.  How does he get out?

He cuts the table in half, puts it back together, and jumps through the "whole." 

Thanks to Jett L. 


Question:  Why was six afraid of seven?

answer: because seven eight nine
Thanks to Jens P. 

Question: What is a tree's favorite drink?

answer:  "root" beer 

Question:  There's a one story house.  Everything is green: the floor, the walls, the kitchen -- everything!  What color are the stairs?

answer:  In a one story house there are no stairs!

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have good news and bad news."
The man says, "What's the good news?"
The doctor answers, "The good news is you have twenty-four hours to live."
The man says, "How is that good news?" and then adds, "What's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "I forgot to tell you yesterday." 

Thanks to Maika H. 

Just Interesting: Strange Phobias

Found these in the newspaper: Sports Jokes  (May 7, 2013 KSL Sports/Deseret News)
1. What is a ghost's favorite position in soccer? 
2. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
3.  What to you call a pig who plays basketball?
4.  Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
5.  What animal is best at hitting a baseball?
6.  What is harder catch the faster you run?

Answers to Sports Jokes

Other jokes:

Two cannibals were eating a clown.  One cannibal looked at the other and said, "Do you taste something funny?"
Thanks to Sydni G. 

A duck walked into a pharmacy to buy some Chapstick.
The clerk asked, "Will that be cash or credit?"
The duck replied, "You can just put it on my bill." 
Thanks to Sydni G.

Where do you find a no-legged dog?
Answer: right where you left him.
Thanks to Sydni G.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
answer: to get to the other slide!

Thanks to Aspen M. 

What time should you go to the dentist?
answer:  tooth-hurty!
Thanks to Aspen M. 

What did zero say to eight?
answer: Nice belt!
Thanks to Kennedy H.

Where do library books like to sleep?
answer:  under their covers!
Thanks to Kennedy H.

Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
answer:  because it's too/two tired
Thanks to Kennedy H.

Where do sheep get their wool cut?
answer: at the BAAbers
Thanks to Kennedy H.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
Thanks to Kennedy H.

Why was the man running around his bed?
Answer: He wanted to catch up on his sleep.
Thanks to Kennedy H.

What do you call a pig that knows karate?
answer:  a pork chop!
Thanks to Kennedy H.

Why do musicians love earth science?
answer:  because they rock
Thanks to Mykella K. 

What day can you have ice cream?
answer: on sun-dae
Thanks to Mykella K.

What insect is going to heaven?
answer:  a preying/praying mantis
Thanks to Mykella K.

What country do runners come from?
Answer: I-ran
Thanks to Mykella K.

More laughs: