Monday, October 1, 2018

Tuesday/Wednesday, October 2/3, 2018

Announcements and Reminders for Tuesday/Wednesday, October 2/3, 2018:

Wednesday, October 3rd – National Emergency Alert
FEMA is conducting its first nationwide Wireless Emergency Alert (WEA) test on Oct. 3rd at 12:18 p.m. The test parameters will be something like this – your cell phone and all cell phones around you should make unusual tones and display an alert message on your home screen. No action during the test is required on your part. Depending on your assignment, you may want to notify your students/parents ahead of time. Knowing that 96% of teenagers (13-18 years old) have mobile phones, it makes sense to warn them on what will be taking place on Wednesday. For more information, Here is FEMA's website about the upcoming test. A fact sheet page is here in English and Spanish.

Anyone need a "current events" type article for science?  Here's a Utah related one:

Targets for Today:

I can correctly write dialogue, and I can use it to make a story I write more effective.  

Today’s  Agenda for Tuesday/Wednesday, October 2/3, 2018:

Remember:  Don't just tell, SHOW. 
Descriptive sentence:   
  • The wind was cold. (telling sentences have linking verbs followed by an adjective)
  • The icy wind whipped across my skin, making goose bumps appear. (showing sentences use action verbs to demonstrate the adjectives from the telling sentence)

Writing Dialogue --

Conventions in Sentences Investigations 

Tape the handout into your composition book, 
and punctuate the sentences on the handout.  
Study this conversation to help you punctuate correctly:

      The phone rang, and Jerry picked it up. 
      There was a moment of silence on the other end, then "Jerry?  Is this Jerry Simmons?
       "Yes.  Who's this?"  Jerry asked.
       "Jerry. . . " The other man paused.  Jerry could hear him take a deep breath.  "Jerry, my name is Dave.  I'm your brother."
        "I don't have a brother," Jerry said, losing his patience.  "My family died years ago."
        "Not your whole family,"  Dave said. 

If you finish early, read a book or work on writing your short story.

Dialogue Punctuation Check

Today:  Using and  Punctuating Dialogue

Two Dialogues -- Texted!  
  • Nat: hey
  • Brianna: hey
  • Nat: what a crazy day
  • Brianna: lol yeah
  • Nat: sup?
  • Brianna: homework ughhhhh
  • Nat: me too
  • Brianna: booooring
  • Nat: i know lol

“What do you know about these characters from the words in this conversation? Do you care about these characters at all? What if this was a ten-page conversation—would you keep reading?”

Now, read this conversation:

  • Nat: hey
  • Brianna: hey
  • Nat: can you believe Ms. Lancer’s class today?
  • Brianna: I know, that woman lost her mind at Chondra for, like nothing
  • Nat: Yeah, I mean who cries when someone gets eraser shavings on the floor?
  • Brianna: It wasn't even a cry, it was like a whale noise like AAUGHAGAGGAAAHAH plus some snot and tears
  • Nat: lol You’re so right. now you got me crying I’m laughing so hard
  • Brianna: lol me too. Uh oh my mom must be home early. the front door just opened
  • Nat: nuh uh she’s with my mom at school, I saw them when I left
  • Brianna: I hear voices. It’s not my mom. oh no
  • Nat: what? who is it?
  • Brianna: nat help it’s ;lkjawetg

  • Nat: bri? bri?? you playin? pick up your phone!! bri pick up!!!

Identify specific words and phrases that made this conversation more engaging or realistic.

In story or book dialogue, a few well-chosen words and phrases can make all the difference in keeping readers hooked.

Dialogue in a Novel or Short Story

There is one error in the following dialogue. It should be,
"I don't have a brother," Jerry said, losing his patience.  "My family died years ago."

You DO NOT want a conversations like this!  Write a conversation that will move the story forward, build tension, or teach the reader about one or more of the characters.

Create a Dialogue:  Write a scene for your story, in the form of a script, using only dialogue and scant stage directions

Here is an example from Spilling Ink by Anne Mazer and Ellen Potter:

     "I can't; I won't!" Justine said, her hands flying up to cover her neck.
     "But think of all the advantages," the vampire said.
     "Like what?"
     "You'll live forever."
     "And watch all the people I love grow old and die?"
     "You can meet new people."
     "And suck out their blood."
     "There's another advantage too."
     "Forget it.  My mind is made up."
     "Just listen."
     "Your skin will look great.  You'll never get another zit."
     "Really?" Justine's hands slowly moved away from her neck. "Not even if I eat chocolate?" 

2. What are the rules for dialogue? 
a. What makes strong, effective dialogue?

Dialogue: -- Class comments today:

Advice from students in a creative writing class on using dialogue: 
For each paragraph only one person is speaking.
It may be a conversation among two or more people.
It could be a monologue.
Avoid too little, and avoid too much.
Make sure the reader knows who is speaking.
Use "said" or, if there is another BETTER word, use it.
Be careful about shouting.
End punctuation usually goes inside the quotation marks. 

b. What are the rules for dialogue? 

Ms. Dorsey's story so far: 

     "There's no brake fluid left," said my dad.
     I could almost see the wheels turning in my mom's brain.  "Oh.  What can we do?  How can we get back down those steep roads?"
     At seven years old, I thought we might have to live on that mountain. "Mama?  Daddy?"
     "It'll  be okay, Punkin," my mom reassured me.   
     But I was worried about my black puppy at home.  And we'd already eaten all of our picnic food.  What would we do? 

     The day up to that point had been a perfect family outing.  My cousin Dennis, just a year older than I was, had come along with me and my parents.  We'd driven in our practically new 1959 Ford Fairlane Sedan from our farm just south of Burley, Idaho,  through farmland and ranch land and desert to the Albion Mountains.  We'd followed a steep dirt and gravel road up the mountain, and high on the mountain had found a small gorge with a stream running through the bottom.  

If You Were Absent:

See above.  Work on your story by writing out part of the story in dialogue.  


Dialogue tags describe what people are doing while they are speaking, and how they are
saying their words.

 Help and Enrichment 

Pro Tips:
Dialogue tags describe what people are doing while they are speaking, and how they are
saying their words.  Good writers use "said" or sometimes "asked" because they disappear
as readers read, so the dialogue becomes the focus.
Sometimes writers don't even use said.  They just add a sentence to show what the speaker
is doing.
Plus, if someone is whining or whimpering, that should be clear in the dialogue, not in the tag.

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