What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It's okay. He woke up.
Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
and
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was okay because it was a soft drink.
Knock-knock. Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it’s pointless.
Knock, knock.Who’s there?Canoe.Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Claire.
Claire who?
Claire the way, I’m coming through!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Roach.
Roach who?
Roach you a letter, did ya get it?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s cold out here!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alex-plain later!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body home?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t go around knocking on doors, but I just had to meet you!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the the peep hole and find out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMxt_ZBerfQ
Q: Why did the Cyclops stop teaching?
A: Because he only had one pupil.
Q: Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?
A: Because he was a pain in the neck.
Q: Why is 1+1=3 like your left foot?
A: It’s not right.
Q: Where do kids in New York City learn multiplication?
A: In Times Square.
Q: Why did everyone want the music teacher to be on their baseball team?
A: Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q: Why are elephants such bad dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet.
Q: What starts and ends with “e” and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.
Q: Why was the cafeteria clock always behind?
A: Because it went back for seconds.
Q: What should you do if your teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A: Roll them back, of course!
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they have honeycombs.
http://www.reallygoodstuff.com/m/images/art/ReallyGoodStuff_JokeBook.pdf
