October 7/8, 2008
Self-starter: Today is the due day for the Book-of-the-Month Club Book approval (with parent signature. Students handed them in at the beginning of class.
Students were also to prepare for the homophone test and the spelling test (names of teachers, administrators, and counselor) retake.
Students were offered an extra-credit poem. This was the only chance to copy the poem for memorization. Only a few took it.
1. Tests
2. Personal Essays
a. another sample -- Being Specific (See below.)
b. More on being specific -- describing
c. Work on a first draft of your essay. Students had about twenty minutes to write. Next time we will have some more time to work on these. The following time we will go into the writing lab to type them on GoMyAccess.
Sample Essay: [I don't expect you all to be able to write like this, though some of you will, and some will do even better. Just do your best to write a multi-paragraph essay about a memorable event that happened to you.]
The prompt for which the following story was written: Write a story about an event that is meaningful to you in some way. Write about it so specifically that another person reading it will see what you saw and feel what you felt.
Cheating
“Jenny, come up here and bring your test,” the teacher suddenly said. All heads in the class turned to stare at the blonde girl sitting next to me.
“You too, Casey.” My whole body stiffened. “What could she want me for?” my mind cried out in panic. Wide-eyed and blushing because now all eyes were fixed on me, I slowly stood up and, test in hand, slid up to my teachers metal-gray desk where Jenny was already standing. My science teacher beckoned to us with her perfectly manicured finger to follow her outside while the student teacher stayed to watch the rest of the kids take their mid-terms. Once outside the stuffy classroom, my teacher calmly shut the door. I glanced over at my friend Jenny and, with my eyes, asked her what was going on. She didn’t see my mental message because her eyes were glued to an imaginary piece of lint on her angora sweater which she was trying to pick off.
“All right now.” I bit my lip in anticipation.
“Why were you two cheating?” she spoke with a hint of exasperation. I couldn’t believe my ears. I pinched myself. My head reeled at her accusation. All of a sudden, realization shot through me. Jenny! I shot a murderous yet questioning look at her. She saw my expression and burst into tears.
We had been taking our mid-term science exams. Our teacher, Mrs. Cramer, had asked us to cover our test papers with something. I’d taken a sheet of paper out to cover my test with but when we’d gotten started, I’d forgotten to use it. My lab partner Jenny and I were not he best of friends but we had fun. She had a loud, flirtatious personality while I was quiet and more reserved. Sitting next to her before the test started, I’d noticed that she seemed worried and anxious. That was no big news though because so was everyone else in the class including me.
In the principals office later that day she had broken down and told everything. Jenny had also added, to my cardiovascular relief, that I had no part in it. My emotions were raging intensely against each other. Sympathy fought rage. Relief fought anger. I was allowed to retake my test the next day. Whoopee. I never did find out what happened to Jenny, other than the fact that she’d been suspended and gotten an F for her semester grade, or why she’d done it. From that day on I always covered my tests, but I learned more than that. Whatever motivates people to do such things, it must blind the person from thinking about the consequences.
by Casey (a ninth-grade girl)
[from Narrative Writing by George Hillocks, Jr., p. 19]Ms. Dorsey’s notes on this essay for Plot Structure:
Cheating
Characters: teacher, Jenny, Casey (the first person narrator)
Setting: midterm test in science class
For the teacher:
Initiating event: noticing the cheating
Goal: uncover who is cheating and punish the cheaters
Result: punishment of Jenny
Response: We don’t find out the teacher’s reponse.
For Jenny:
Initiating event: the test
Goal: to pass the test (by copying answers)
Result: being caught and punished
Responses: her behavior and admitting what she’d done – in front of teacher and in principal’s office
For the narrator (Casey):
Initiating event: being called to the front of the room
Attempt to deal with the situation: murderous glance at Jenny
Result: Jenny’s confession
Narrator’s response: relief, thinking about what lead students to cheat.
The narrator focuses on what she if feeling. She is specific.
She doesn’t just say, “I was afraid and ashamed and confused.”
She shows us what that was like, so we can see and feel.
r 9/10, 2008
exactly that other students could pick it out from similar shells.
